


The Competition

by SnowSurfer



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Background Relationships, Comedy, Cussing, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Let Klaus Hargreeves say Fuck, Let Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) Say Fuck, Minor Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-03-20 01:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18982726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowSurfer/pseuds/SnowSurfer
Summary: Klaus and Number Five are far from the most compatible of the Hargreeve siblings. In fact there seems to be only one thing they both truly and completely agree on, “Fuck” is the best word in the English language. And they love to see who can get away with using it more.





	1. The Rules

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank FitzCameBackToMe for beta reading this, helping me come up with the idea, and for getting me into the show in general! Hope ya'll enjoy!

Six of the Hargreeves children had known their entire lives that they would, one day, fight bad guys. Some of them actually enjoyed the fight. All of the Hargreeves children were also keenly aware of how little they knew about the world around them that their father didn’t want them to. They were unaware of the extent until that first bank robbery. 

Once the commotion had ended and the gunfire ceased they busied themselves tying the thiefs up for the police. Luther and Diego were racing to see who could tie the most up first, running over each other and causing a scene only those in the bank would ever be privy to. Klaus and Ben were helping the civilians out of the bank. Five was nowhere to be seen. Allison rolled her eyes at her brothers’ hijinks and worked smarter instead of harder, or not at all. 

She waltzed up to one barely conscious criminal. Leaning down she whispered in his ear, just loud enough for him to hear, “I heard a rumor you tied up your three buddies over there, then yourself.” Despite having just been drooling on the marble floor, he sprung up and went about her request. She followed him, monitoring closely. 

As he gathered up his partners in crime, the drool from his mouth continued to drip from his lips. Allison cringed when a huge glob of it dripped right onto the other robber’s cheek. The splash was enough to wake him. “What the fuck? Greg what are you doing?” He looked around wildly before making eye contact with Allison. “You’re the little bitch that got me stabbed in the foot! What the fuck is going on? What the fuck did you do to Greg!” He continued hurling questions at her, still too dazed to stop his friend from tying him up. 

The constant gibbering was beginning to make Allison’s head throb. “I heard a rumor that you shut up!” She snapped at him. His jaw closed with a click. She smirked as the first goon continued tying up the others. Watching the one she told to shut up look around in panic, eyes wide and begin to hyperventilate, she couldn’t help but wonder about that word he used. She had never seen it in her studies, and Reginald had made them read the entire dictionary. Was it foreign? What did it mean? 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“For your first mission, you did exemplary.” Reginald paced in front of his six superpowered children. Luther, Diego, and Ben beamed at the rare praise. Luther and Diego both puffed up the chests, continuously trying to outdo the other. Reginald paid it no mind. “Your missions will not always be this easy however. Your training will continue, both individual and group exercises will be enhanced.” All the children let out a sigh at that, Klaus actively groaned “That is all.”

“Wait, sir. I had a question.” Everyone stared at Allison. They had gotten praised, why would she ruin it? 

“Yes, alright, out with it.” Reginald barked, eager to get back to his notes.

“What does the word, ‘fuck’ mean?” Allison said, “I heard one of the bank robbers say it, and I didn’t recognize it.”

“That, Number Three, is an example of crude language that will not be used by any of you in or out of this household.” He stepped up to her, looming above her. “Any use of that word, or any like it, will be met with swift punishment. It shows a lack of intellect, and narrowness of character. Am I clear?” 

“Yes, sir.” They mumbled. 

“Very good. Dismissed.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During their daily free hour the next day, Five was trying to read A Brief History of Time . Trying being the key word. One room over he could hear Klaus and Ben giggling incessantly. For over twenty minutes he attempted to ignore them, but every time he would get in the rhythm of reading they’d burst into giggles again. With a growl, he slammed his book closed, stomped over to the next room and flung open the door. 

“Fuck!” Klaus squealed, trying to cover up his almost bare chest. Ben nearly leaped out of his skin, actually jumping for cover behind Klaus. 

“Just what exactly are you two doing?” Five raised an eyebrow, awaiting an answer. By the looks of things, he had a pretty good idea of what it would be, but he just had to hear it for himself. 

“Please don’t tell dad.” Ben peaked over Klaus’ shoulder. 

“If you must know,” Klaus placed his hands on his hips and flipped a stray piece of hair out of his face, “I found these stylish shirts in the laundry and just had to try them on. So, we’re having a fashion show.” 

Five pinched the bridge of his nose. “Those are our sisters training bras.” 

“Oh…” Klaus tried to discreetly unhook the item under his blazer, holding eye contact with Five the entire time. The awkward angle of his elbows made him look like a pretzel. 

“Daddy dearest wouldn’t care about what you’re doing I’m sure.” He rolled his eyes, “What he would care about though, is your flagrant use of language he doesn’t approve of, Klaus.” A smirk painted itself on his face. “So keep it down, or so help me,” He stalked towards his flamboyant brother, finger at his throat.” 

“Okay, okay.” Klaus put his hands up. 

“Good.” Five turned to leave them to their frivolities. 

“But don’t act like you don’t want to say it though.” Klaus’s hands returned to his hips as Five whipped around to face him. 

“It's a word. What do I care about it one way or the other?” 

“Its a word dad doesn’t like, so you know you wanna say it. You hate him as much as the rest of us.” 

“I don’t hate dad…” Ben mumbled, tone soft and far more uncertain than his statement. 

All of time and space to study and here Five was debating a word. What perplexed him was he didn’t mind the topic. “So what if I do.” 

“Prove it. Say it.” 

Five drew his eyebrows together. “Fuck. There, happy?” He turned to leave once again. 

“Ha! Now you can’t tell on us and we can be as loud as we want.” Klaus went to high five Ben, who timidly let him. 

“Who is dad more likely to believe?” 

A huff let Five knew he had won. “It’s no fair you get away with everything.”

“Yeah, because I want to develop my powers.” Five’s fists clenched, nails cutting into skin. “Besides, you just goof off so much he probably doesn’t even care what you do anymore.” Silence. Good. That’s all he wanted anyway. 

He strolled through the door, ready to research, but stopped at the frame, hand on the handle. An absolutely absurd idea struck him. It was more on par with Klaus’ antics, meaning he’d certainly agree. He might regret this, but the challenge would make it worth it. He face his brothers. “What do you say we test that actually.”

Klaus sniffed, loud and wet. “You made your point, just go away.” Ben already had a hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t you wanna press Dad’s buttons?” They made eye contact. Unshed tears glistening in Klaus’. He had his attention. “How about, we have a little competition. A game.”

“Go on.” Klaus wiped his face. 

“Me and you see who can say ‘fuck’ in front of the adults most and get away with it.” 

“We’re gonna get in trouble.” tugging at Klaus’ sleeve, Ben begged his brother to have reason, but reason was never Klaus’ strong suit. 

“And we get points?” A devilish smile split Klaus’ face. 

“For each time we say it and get away with it.” That smile turned out to be contagious. 

“What if they yell at us for something else?”

“Long as it's not for using the word, anything is fair game.” Ideas were already forming in both their heads. “But, they have to hear you say it.” 

“How do I know you’re gonna be honest?” Klaus pursed his lips. 

“I could ask you the same thing. I guess we’re just going to have to trust each other.” Five narrowed his eyes, “but there’s a three point penalty should you be caught in a lie.” 

Klaus’ grin grew to be ear to ear. “You’re on.” 

Five smirked and returned to his book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit the training bra bit was inspire by the fic, Syntax by Gin_Juice. It is a beautiful fic and you should definitely check it out.  
> How did you guys like this chapter? Do you want me to continue? Let me know :)


	2. Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The competition has officially begun, and the boys have their eyes on the first target.

Breakfast was always served in the kitchen at exactly 7:30 a.m. Reginald Hargreeves would only join the children for the first ten minutes to inform them of their daily schedule, then depart with a cup of decaffeinated tea. Then it was up to Grace to make sure they ate, behaved and were on time to their first activity of the day. This was a task much easier said than done when it came to super powered tweens. Hence why Reginald Hargreeves chose not to deal with it. 

Today would be no different. The children were ushered in the kitchen, and took their seats. The only thing that struck Grace as odd was how well behaved Klaus seemed to be, not even fidgeting with his uniform. A mischievous gleam was still in his eyes, but for now Grace was not going to question the easy morning. 

Reginald strolled in the kitchen at exactly 7:35 a.m. He was a true Renaissance man, being both a night owl and early bird. He poured his tea before saying a word to the children. After his first sip he told them of their tasks. “Today is going to be very busy. At 8:25 you are to meet Pogo for an arithmetic lesson. Then at 9:25 you will meet with me in the garden for specialized training on your abilities. We will not break till lunch at 1:00. Number Seven you will practice your Violin at that time. Am I clear?”

“Yes, sir.” They all answered in unison, Klaus not even mumbling this time. 

“Very good.” Reginald exited the room just as Grace was putting a plate of eggs in front of Luther. 

The exceedingly easy morning and good behavior of all the children lasted exactly 5 minutes and 43 seconds after Reginald left the room. Just enough time for him to walk out of ear shot. 

“So, what does fuck mean?” Klaus tried to conceal his devilish smile, but he couldn’t stop the manic gleam in his eyes. 

Grace turned around, not missing a beat. “Your father said-”

“He just said we can’t say it, he never told us what it means!” He said, standing up slightly and shaking the table in the process. 

Grace shook her head and laughed politely, “Well yes dear, I suppose that is what he said, but you don’t need to know what it means to avoid using it.” As she saw Klaus deflate, she turned to finish the dishes. 

“That’s not true.” Five came to Klaus’ defense with pinched eyebrows. Everyone at the table was in utter shock, including Klaus. Allison and Luther cocked their heads, Diego's eyebrows shot up, Ben’s eyes widened, Klaus’ jaw dropped, and Vayna mouthed across the table ‘What are you doing?’ “What if we overhear it on stealth missions? Or if someone says it to us and we need to verbally defend ourselves, especially in front of the press? We all know how important good P.R. is. Just because we can’t use it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t know what it means.” Five arms had been crossed the entire time. He sipped his coffee as he let his words sink in. He knew of course all this was ridiculous, but he had points to win. 

“I highly doubt you’ll need to know it for missions, dear.” Grace smiled at him, hoping it would placate him, but knowing it would not. 

“How do you know? What does fuck mean?” Five leaned over the table, Klaus grinned once again. 

Grace paused, calculating all of her options. If this conversation didn’t end quickly the children would never get to their lesson on time and that just wouldn’t do. Once Five sunk his teeth into something he demanded answers. Klaus would likewise find out a way to push the matter and likely manage to get himself hurt in the process. Perhaps learning about uncouth things from a trusted source would be best, even if in her programming she knew Mr. Hargreeves would never approve such a lesson. 

Ultimately, it wasn’t any of this reasoning that convinced her. No, what convinced her was the pleading puppy dog eyes of her little Klaus as he looked at her and asked, “Aren’t we supposed to have inquisitive minds and stuff anyway?” 

It didn’t hurt when Ben threw in, “And good vocabulary!” He shook nervously right after saying it, but he was so excited. One uncouth lesson wouldn’t hurt. 

“My, aren’t you all such curious children.” She tittered, “ I guess you have a point. I’ll explain, but you must keep eating your breakfast and remain on good behavior today, okay?”

“Yes, mom.” Five and Klaus echoed each other, adding to the bizarre nature of the morning. In an odd way it warmed Grace’s circuits to see those two getting along. 

She waited for them all to begin eating before beginning her lesson. “The word ‘Fuck’ has been deemed an expletive or ‘curse word’ for most of its existence.” Several of the children nearly choked when they registered that she said the forbidden word. Grace had her Heimlich maneuver protocols at the ready, just in case. “‘Fuck’ is most commonly used as a so-called ‘sentence enhancer’ giving it no real meaning, though many consider it an exaggerant such ‘very.’” 

She paused, being careful of her wording on this next part. Five was far too insightful, he would know if she left anything out. Mr. Hargreeves would likely burst a blood vessel if he ever knew of what she was about to tell the children. He hadn’t even green lit the puberty lesson yet. “The only time ‘fuck’ has a concrete meaning is when it is used in reference to sexual activity.” 

A note was made in Grace’s programming to research if widening eyes too much for too long had detrimental effects. If it did, Ben would suffer the most. To Klaus’ credit he did try to stop his giggling, he just wasn’t very good at it. The Heimlich protocol nearly took a hold when Diego choked on his eggs. Luther turned a deep shade of red, so deep Grace wondered briefly if it was a sunburn she had missed. Vanya turned her head away from the entire table while Allison hid behind her hands, barely peeking between her fingers. Five simply rolled his eyes at them all, never breaking eye contact with Grace, a smirk present on his lips. Grace processed all of this in under 2.32 seconds. “While most commonly used to refer to traditional intercourse, it can be used to mean several different types and ways of insertion.” 

Waggling her finger at them, she gave her sternest look, “But what you need to remember children, is that your father is right. It is not considered a intelligent word to use and definitely not a polite one. I hope this knowledge helps you to avoid using it.” Finally she was able to get to the dishes, and the children ate in silence, some grinning, some with looks of mortification. 

As she ushered them out to their lesson with Pogo, she noticed Five high five Klaus. While he acted reluctant, she saw him smirk as he took his place next to Vayna in the classroom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they discussed it that night, after much bickering and debating, the boys agreed they both earned two points. One each for saying it in front of their mother without being reprimanded, and one each for getting her to not only say it but actually explain it. They passed out that night not thinking of time and space or how to sneak a skirt into the uniform, but rather on all the possibilities on how to rack up even more glorious fucking points.


	3. Pogo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pogo is the next target.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter involves the Luther/Allison that's in the tags. The ship isn't the point of the chapter, but it is the catalyst. Hope you enjoy!

Klaus hated history. Five barely tolerated it. Nonetheless, Reginald had decided they would learn it. Today they were being tested on it. 

Pogo watched over the children as they filled in the answer sheets. Cheating wasn’t so much an issue as attention span was. The only one capable of stealthily cheating on a test would be Five, who didn’t need to cheat anyway. The children merely tended to get restlest, fidgeting, stretching, gazing out the window, finding any distraction possible. These truths were evident even in Luther, Vanya, and Allison, the most well behaved in the classroom. Extremes were more often the case for the more energetic or anxious ones. It wouldn’t be uncommon for Diego to sharpen his pencils far more than necessary or for Klaus to attempt to chew his into some sort of figure. On bigger tests Ben would usually vomit from stress and be escorted out by Grace.

Today was, fortunately, an easier test day than most. Allison, Vanya, and Ben had all already finished their tests. As per usual, Five had finished first. There had almost been a scene when Pogo refused to let him leave the room, on account that Five had a knack for getting himself into trouble when alone doing his experiments with his abilities. The boy nearly stormed out, a truce only being accomplished when Pogo allowed him and the others that finished to read any book of their choice. So Five was rocking in his chair reading A Brief History of Time and Space. With one problem child out of the way, all Pogo had to worry about was Klaus. 

Klaus was trying, but who cared why ArchDuke Ferdinand was important when there was the biggest butterfly he had ever seen right outside the window. It was a deep purple that faded to blues and pinks on the tips of the wings. Bouncing his leg and stealing glances when he thought Pogo wasn’t looking, he tried to finish the test. When Klaus noticed the others that were done and free to read, he finally gave in. Why would he need to know this anyway. 

In frustration and determination he scribbled in the last few answers. His particular favorite was the short response asking why some country did something where he answered ‘Because their wiener is small.’ Strutting up to the desk to turn the paper in, he couldn’t wait to get a better look at that butterfly. 

Walking back, he noticed something better. Luther was still puzzling over his test, his eyes focused on the paper. Allison had finished a while ago, but was definitely not looking at her book or even out the window at the butterfly. Her attention was firmly fixed on Luther. Their desks being right next to each other, her foot had slid out from under hers and was inching towards his. She tried to hide her longing looks by flipping pages in her book randomly. 

When her foot finally tapped his, the charade broke. Luther looked up from his test with a start. His eyes went from wide to have fluttered closed once he noticed Allison smile at him. Their cheeks were a matching rosy color. 

A devilish grin grew on Klaus’ face. This was scandalous. “Are those bedroom eyes, sister?” his mouth formed into a little “O” as he remembered a new definition he had learned from his mother. “Does this mean you two have fucked?” He gasped, hands over his mouth and eyes wide in mock shock. He clutched at imaginary pearls, and brought his hand to his forehead as if faint. 

A beat of silence served as the calm before the proverbial storm. Before Pogo could correct him Allison stood and in an angry puff, shouted “Take that back, Klaus!” Her shoulders tense and fists tight, she stood nose to nose with him. 

Klaus giggled, “It's only a question.”

“Children please, back in your seats at once! Master Klaus-”

“Leave her alone. We’re family and shouldn’t talk about each other like that.” Luther glared at him. Klaus only giggled more. He looked constipated. 

“Master Luther, focus on your test. You two-” Pogo had just put a hand on both Klaus and Allison’s shoulders. 

Allison was having none of it. “I heard a rumor that you only spoke gibberish!” Klaus felt the effect immediately. His tongue felt heavy, his throat fuzzy. 

“Eep gh larp neshhingle.” Part of Klaus knew he should have felt panicked, but this was hilarious. He laughed so hard he dropped to the floor holding his sides. 

“Klaus?” Ben tried to reach out to his brother, but fear kept him locked to his seat. He didn’t want to get in trouble during a test. Vayna tried to offer him a small smile. Klaus had been in worse predicaments before after all. 

“Stop laughing.” Allison was red in the face and snarling. “I heard a rumor that you stopped laughing.” Instantly the noise ceased, but Klaus was still smiling and rolling on the floor. 

“Miss Allison that is enough! You know not to rumor your siblings.” Pogo wagged a finger at her. With the exception of training the children using their gifts on each other was one of the biggest offenses in the house. He would rather keep this from Master Hargreeves if possible, but she was making it quite difficult. 

“Klaus was being rude to her!” Luther stood up from his test, “We’re supposed to act like a family and he wasn’t.”

“Master Luther, continue your test this instant.” Pogo turned to him leaving Klaus out of his line of sight. Klaus saw his opportunity, popped back onto his feet and began miming the lovebirds. First putting on a burly act, flexing his arms and striking heroic poses before switching to a feminine stance with a hand on his hip and examining his fingernails. He alternated the two oogling each other. Allison was about to scream. Diego, Ben and even Vayna couldn’t help but chuckle. Five even smirked, not that anyone noticed besides Klaus. 

“It’s not funny!” Luther and Allison yelled simultaneously, not helping their case. The other erupted into more laughter. 

“Enough!” Pogo’s voice echoed through the small classroom silencing the children almost as effectively as Allison ever could have. “All your tests are now void and you will retake a longer version of it tomorrow. Go to your rooms until training begins. Miss Allison, I will escort you to fix Master Klaus momentarily after I tell your father.” 

Tensions still high, but all knowing better than to push their luck they all filled out. Five fell into step behind Klaus and whispered to him, “Well played.” They agreed that night he got the point due to the anger being directed at the chaos not the word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I personally think Five wouldn't care for history because he is such a logic based person. He clearly shows an interest in science and math, things that play by specific rules. History doesn't do that. He's had to analyze it yes, but I think learning straight up facts and dates he wouldn't care for.   
> Allison I think would actually like history. Its a story, a drama and that is right up her alley.   
> What do you guys think?  
> Let me know how you liked the chapter in the comments! :)


	4. Reginald

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus' sees ghosts and Five sees patterns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where that Angst tag comes into play. Because that's what Reginald brings, angst. The hurt/comfort one is here too though, so don't worry.

Had it been hours? Minutes? Klaus couldn’t be sure. Reginald had made sure to have him hand over his watch because “You should be concerned about honing your ability, not what time it is.” It couldn’t have been long. The shine of moonlight on the marble floor hadn’t moved much, if at all. 

It was the voices that made time drag. 

“My husband! He did this!”

“You damn bitch!”

“Please! Help me!”

“My pie!”

So many voices, so close to him. 

They would shriek endlessly at him. His hands over his ears did nothing to muffle them, but it felt better than nothing. Just like how pushing himself into a corner wouldn’t let him escape, but it was better to try. 

“My son! Please, my baby boy!” His eyes were squeezed shut by now, but he could almost feel her breath on his face. He curled into his knees to make the sensation go away. The spirit’s breath merely ruffled his hair instead. 

Klaus didn’t know when he started crying, just that the hem of his shorts was now soaked and slick with snot. Most of the spirits seemed to come and go, or at least shriek about different things. This one wouldn’t shut up about her son. 

“My baby! Please help my baby!” She was still right in his face, seemingly louder than the rest. Why did she care anyway? He was Reginald’s son-they all called him father at least- and he didn’t care about Klaus. Why did this lady care so much about her son then? Why would she not shut up? 

Klaus threw his own scream into the mix. Shrieking alongside them only made his headache worse, and his throat raw, but it was better than doing nothing. At least when he screamed he couldn’t hear if the one spirit was still asking about her son. 

The moonlight strip had moved two inches on the marble when Reginald came to check on him. The mausoleum door slid open, grating against the stone floor. There he stood, silhouetted by the darkness and moonlight, looking more like a spector than the actual spirits, and far more cold. As if they could sense it, the other spirits fled, leaving Klaus curled up and alone with his father. 

“Have you conquered your fear yet, Number Four?” Reginald asked, voice demanding an affirmative answer.

“Let me out, please let me out.” Klaus reached forward in vain, hoping and pleading for mercy. “I can’t do it, please.”

Instead all he got was a disappointed sigh, another sign he wasn’t good enough. Klaus vaguely wondered what that one spirit’s son must have done to be loved so much. “You will confront your demons, Number Four. It is the only way to unlock your potential.” 

He turned to leave, to lock the door again. Before he could, something inside Klaus snapped. “Fuck you! Fuck potential! I don’t wanna do this! I don’t want to have these powers!” His voice was strained, raw, and gritty, but it had never felt so good to say something. Maybe that ghost’s son hadn’t done anything, maybe he was just normal. “I wish I was normal! I wish I was like Vanya and I had never met you!” He found the energy to stand, though his knees wobbled. Balling his fists he had enough in him for one more outburst, “I fucking hate you. You’re not my dad.” He spat. It was an accusation and a statement, the hill Klaus would die on. 

Reginald was quiet throughout the whole little speech. “You’re such a disappointment.” He closed the door. It's hard thud nearly drowning out his last words of, “But I refuse to accept you as a failure, yet.” 

The shrieking continued. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five was feeling particularly good about himself. The science behind his teleporting was becoming clearer and clearer to him each day. In fact, if the breakthrough he had last night was any indication, he theorized he could even time travel with it. As excited as he was he knew a good mental rest would be good for him. It was Saturday after all. 

It was even the designated ‘Fun Time.’ Under the belief there is nothing more fun than getting under Reginald’s skin, he decided to track down Klaus to gauge what kind of a scene he’d need to pull. This was a competition after all. 

Five teleported around the house to find him, startling Vanya and Allison, as well as Diego. It was by sheer luck the knife nicked only his jacket. 

It was Ben’s room where he finally found him. Thankfully Klaus wasn’t in their sisters’ underwear this time. Instead they were playing a card game. Knocking on the door, Ben waved him in. 

There was something off about Klaus today, that Five couldn’t put his finger on. He smiled, his hair was a mess, and he even had telltale crumbs of stolen food on his shirt, yet something wasn’t quite right. There was dark circles under his eyes, but it wasn’t uncommon for him to get awful sleep. Five doubted he’d sleep well if people occasionally screamed at him at night. 

Five shook his head as he approached the bed they played on. Today was a good day. He wouldn’t worry about it. 

“So, anything new I should know about the score?” Five leaned in, hands on his folded knees. 

Klaus looked like he couldn’t pick an expression. He grinned, but it was fractured, fragile. Tears pooled in his eyes, but did not spill. Five chose not to comment. “I said it in front of da-” He paused, biting his lip, “Sir Reginald.” 

Five quirked a brow, “How’d you get away with it?” 

Ben’s eyes went wide, “Should I deal you in, Five? Its more fun with more people.”

“No. I wanna hear how he did it.” Five crossed his arms. “I’m in the mood for a good laugh.”

“I talked back during training.” Klaus mumbled, voice cracking regardless. 

“Last time we trained we were all together. You didn’t say fuck.” Five’s eyes narrowed. “If you’re gonna lie, at least make it a good one so you don’t insult my intelligence.”

“It’s not a lie.” Klaus tried to yell, but his voice came out rough and gravely. 

“If you can’t prove it, it’s a lie.” Five got off the bed. “By my last count we were tied. Guess I’m three points ahead now.” He walked towards the door. As he exited he heard Ben shushing Klaus, and telling him to breathe. 

It wasn’t till Five was back in his room that he realized why Klaus was off today. Klaus had been quiet. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

At approximately 12:53 a.m. a puff of blue smoke brought Five into Klaus’ room. He wanted answers, and he would have them. Both were night owls, so when he noticed his brother actually asleep his brows knit together. Five approached the bed, noticing small noises from Klaus. 

“Go away,” Klaus whimpered. A nightmare then. Five never dreamed, not that he remembered anyway. One time Vanya had woken the entire house screaming after a nightmare though, and Five had been grateful ever since that he didn’t experience them. Looking at his brother now, he knew he was right to be. 

Klaus twitched his lip, almost like a snarl. “...not my dad.” Five gave a small, sad smile. Technically speaking none of them did have fathers. Emotionally they didn’t have any either. Even Five wasn’t blind to that. The snarl broke, giving way to a grimace, lip curled downward as tears poured out of Klaus’ eyes. “Please go away, go away.” Klaus hugged the pillow tighter. 

If this continued much longer it’d be Klaus waking up the household. That wouldn’t do anyone any good. Five pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “Klaus,” he whispered, “Klaus, wake up. It’s just a dream.” He gripped his shoulder, shaking him lightly. 

Klaus’ eyes snapped open. Five covered his mouth, motioning for him to shush. It took a moment, but Klaus’ breathing went from quick and shallow to slow, deep, if hitched and shaky. “You good?” Klaus’ nodded gently so Five removed his hand. 

“What are you doing here?” There was a grit, a deep brokenness in that one sentence that both of them knew no child should be able to convey. Still gripping the pillow, all Five could see was his brother's tear stained eyes that held the same horrible sadness. 

“I-.” Five paused. He was better at expressing numbers than feelings, but he knew a pattern when he saw one. Klaus did not follow his normal pattern today. “Listen, about the points.”

“Keep your dumb points.” The pillow muffled his voice. Five nearly had to ask him to repeat himself. 

“Naw, you get the point.” Five put his hand on Klaus’ shoulder. “Just this once though, okay.” 

There was a loud, ugly sniff before Klaus shot up and hugged his brother. Five tensed before gently putting his arms around him. He didn’t even complain about his pajamas getting wet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Fitzcamebacktome for beta reading and helping with my abysmal grammar. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!


	5. The Winner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five knows what he's fucking doing. Or does he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The end! As always thanks to Fitzcamebacktome for beta reading.  
> I do break canon just a smidgen here. I think you'll all understand though.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Five had read and reread all the books in the manor on time and space. Reciting any of them by memory would be child’s play at this point. Understanding and comprehension had taken longer. These were extremely complex topics after all, this wasn’t just rocket science. Five knew he could do it. It would be simple, just a slight alteration in his perception during a jump. All that was left was to ask if he  _ could do _ it. 

Mealtime was coming up. The first time he would see Reginald today. Technically they weren’t supposed to talk during mealtime. Five calculated his odds of getting a word in during training or scheduling a meeting anytime soon. There were better odds of winning the lottery. Twice. While it wouldn’t be advantageous to start off on the wrong foot, it was the only shot he had. 

 

Besides, he knew his power better than anyone, even Reginald. 

 

Grace rang the dinner bell, calling them all to the table. Straightening his tie Five fell in line with his siblings. That awful survivalist record was playing. Five repressed a rather strong eye roll. They studied this kind of thing already, so why make them listen to it during a meal? Five figured it was probably just so Reginald didn’t have to talk to them. Balling up his fists, nails digging into his skin, Five thought, ‘ _ But you will today.’  _

 

He took his seat between Vanya and Diego, dutifully ignoring the carving his brother was doing to the table. Everyone was so blissfully content to sit there and enjoy the silent meal. Even Klaus was quiet. Five made a mental note to check on him later. That smug look on Reginald’s face made him want to vomit. He was so proud of his little forced family. 

 

Five decided he didn’t want him that smug. Both of them knew who was really smarter here anyway. Mustering a polite smile, he took his own knife out of his pocket. He fiddled with it a moment, to see if they would notice. When they didn’t, Five slammed it into the Table. 

 

“Number Five!” Reginald’s gruff voice carried from the other end of the table, commanding. Vanya stared at him, frightened and curious. 

 

“I have a question.” He folded his hands. 

 

“Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rules.” Reginald put down his glass of wine. “No talking during mealtimes. You are interrupting Herr Carlson.” he said, pointing with his knife in emphasis.  

 

They all went back to eating. Five refused to be ignored so easily. “I want to time travel.” 

 

“No.” The annoyance was clearer than his crystal goblet. It was as if he had expected this. 

 

Five tried not to let his face drop, “But I’m ready. I’ve been practicing my spatial jumps, just like you said.” He stood up, jumping to Reginald’s side to prove his point. “See?” 

 

Reginald never flinched. “A spatial jump is trivial when compared with the unknowns of time travel.” The others were ignoring them at this point, except for Vanya. “One is akin to sliding on ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn.” A sip of wine was used to punctuate his opinion on the matter. 

 

Five’s knuckles were white in his pockets. The old coot was too stubborn to admit he was smarter. “Well, I don’t get it.” 

 

“Hence the reason you’re not ready.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Vanya. Meeting her gaze she shook her head, trying to get him to stop. Five knew how scared she was of Reginald. She really was a good sister looking out for him like that, but she didn’t understand what was at stake here. Not just the potential of time travel, but his pride. “I’m not afraid.”

 

“Fear isn’t the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even on your mind, are far too unpredictable.” He was cutting his meat much harsher now. Five was getting through. “Now, I forbid you to talk about this anymore.” 

 

Pursing his lips, he felt his nails breaking through the skin of his palms. The old man didn’t get it. He knew what he was doing. He had been doing this his whole life. He would prove it to him. “What do you know you old fuck.” Turning to leave, he didn’t notice Klaus look up and smile at the remark. If Reginald heard he didn’t show it, and Five didn’t care. 

 

“Number Five.” Reginald called after him. Not like he’d bother himself with actually trying to catch him. “You haven’t been excused.” Five broke into a run. “Come back here!”

 

Bursting through the gates was the best he had ever felt. There was fresh air and a breeze in his hair. More importantly, there was no one telling him what he could and couldn’t do. So, he would do what he did best, push himself. 

 

Sauntering down the streets, he readied himself for a time jump. Concentrating on the same space and a different period, a different relation to that space, he braced for impact. As he pushed into the jump, for a brief moment he wondered if Reginald was right. Seeing all the colors, the changed building names, he knew he wasn’t. “Not ready, my ass.” 

He pushed again. This time it was into winter. Snow covered the streets and instantly chilled his nose. His shorts didn’t help matters. Still, he almost felt like laughing. He had done it, was doing it. Reginald was wrong and he was right and that’s all that mattered. Regardless, it was cold. He pushed again, concentrating on a hopefully warmer time. 

 

Fire and brimstone met him. The smell of sulfur and sewage permeated the air stopping him in his tracks. Ash fell and building burned. There were no people. Five looked around, surely there had to be someone. What had happened here?

 

Though jumping had zapped much of his strength, he gathered what he could and sprinted back towards the manor. Physically, he had not gone far from it. 

 

It was unrecognizable. All that was left was the foundation and a pillar or two. His jaw dropped. It meant he breathed in all the ash, but he didn’t care. What had happened here? Where was everyone? Were they okay? “Vanya! Ben!” He didn’t care who was right or wrong now. Where was his family? “Dad!” The panic was almost too much now. “Anyone!” His heart was so loud in his ears, even if they did answer he doubted he’d hear them. 

 

Five had had enough of this. This wasn’t set, he knew it couldn’t be. Balling his fists, he pushed to jump again. Only, he couldn’t. He’d sapped all his strength getting here. He pushed again. “Come on!” No, it wasn’t just his strength. This was something else, something more. Time wasn’t letting him go back. “Shit.” 

Turning back to the house, he dropped to his knees. Reginald was right. He hadn’t been ready. Now he was paying for it. The burning wind ruffled his hair. Fighting back tears, he had a thought far more amusing than the situation called for. 

 

_ ‘Does this mean I won?’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to end on an agnsty note. I don't know how to do anything else apparently.  
> I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you to everyone that left kudos, comments, bookmarks, and subscriptions. IT means the world to me.


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